Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Smoke Alarms and Fire Alarms

I'm about to go apeshit on this fire alarm.

A couple of weeks ago, my smoke detector was running low on juice, and started to beep every minute. We're talking comatose sleep piercing beeps. So I woke up around 3:30am and ripped the smoke detector from the wall and proceeded to the bathroom. There's absolutely no chance I'd find a fresh 9 volt battery laying around. I removed the battery so I can deal with it when the Sun rises. But, the f'ing thing still beeped after I tore out its heart. I can't tell you how close I came to dropping it in the top tank.

Then a couple of nights ago, as I'm drifting off to REM stage, my apartment fire alarm goes off. It's the old school alarm with slow-mo tolling. You know, the annoying water drip torture type. I hear fire trucks approaching, so it's gotta be for real. I went down the stairs and juked a few firemen in the smoky hallway before exiting the building. Things could have been much worse, but all was over within 20 minutes. Now I get back, and there's all kinds of loud ass fans going off to clear the smoke. I mean they look like fans that could be attached to hovercrafts. Bottom line, cranky morning.

Now as I sit here at work, the f'ing fire alarm is periodically ringing, and I have no idea what's going on. There's no drill, no fire trucks, and no one else in the office. I am feeling all shady. But one thing is for sure. If this alarm doesn't stop soon, I'm going downtown WWE style on it with my office chair.